Actual (slightly abbreviated) conversation from breakfast today, when we normally share a brief gospel thought.
Robb: Quinn, do you have a gospel thought to share? What is your favorite story from Jesus’ life?
Quinn: Umm… the one where he goes in the fiery furnace with his two apostles.
Brooklyn: No, that was those brothers with weird names, that got thrown in the furnace for worshipping Jesus, and then Jesus came in the furnace to visit them.
Me: Do you mean Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego?
Robb: None of them were Jesus, and neither was the angel who came to visit them.
Me: Quinn, try again. Favorite story from the life of Jesus.
Quinn: The one where he gets baptized. Everyone told him he was perfect and he didn’t need to be baptized, but he said he would obey all the commandments.
Me: Who told him?
Me: No. One person. Who?
Quinn: Umm… John the Baptist?
Robb: Then what happened?
Quinn: Then he got baptized. The end.
Me: What?! You were just getting to the good part! What happened after he got baptized?
Me: Ryan, help him out.
Robb and Me: (shaking heads in disbelief)
Robb: What showed up after the baptism?
Kids: (stunned silence)
Robb: It was a rainbow. Right?
Quinn: No! No! I’ve got it! It was a dove!
Robb: Yay! And who was the dove?
Brooklyn: The dove was a bird.
Ryan: The dove was a bird.
Me: We were so close.
Ryan: The dove was God.
Kids: (more silence)
Robb: What about the voice? What did the voice say?
Quinn: Oh! I know this! Umm…
Robb: “This is…”
Robb: “This is my beloved son…”
Brooklyn: “Hear him.”
Robb: No. “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.”
Quinn: Oh, yeah. I remember that.
Robb: And who was the voice?
Robb: It was God.
Ryan: I said that already!
Me: No, you said the dove was God. The voice was Heavenly Father and the dove was the Holy Ghost and Jesus was getting baptized. All three members of the Godhead were there.
Quinn: I know about the Godhead. I’m not stupid!!
Me: I think we have failed as parents.
Robb: Maybe we should start reading the Gospels.
Honesly, the whole story is just plain embarrassing. It’s not like our kids are sunbeams or anything. There’s no excuse at all.